Very Funny & True Definitions For The Modern Era

Very Funny & True Definitions For The Modern Era

1.Life Insurance : A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
2.Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
3.Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
4.Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
5.Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through ‘the minds of either’.
6.Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
7.Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

8.Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
9.Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
10.Criminal: A guy no different from the rest…. except that he got caught.
11.Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
12.Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
13.Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
14.Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

15.Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.15.Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
16.Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
17.Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
18.Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
19. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
20. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway ” See I am not injured yet.”
21. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
22.Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
23.Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

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